What If...? Vol.2 #76 (August 1995)

"What If Peter Parker had to Invent Spider-Man?"

Writer/Inker: Terry Austin

Penciler: Stuart Immonen

Colorist: Marie Javins

Letterer: Janice Chiang

Like every issue of What If...?, this story focuses on an alternate reality where a minor twist of fate leads to everyone getting killed. Well, this time, only Mary Jane gets killed, but usually, Galactus ends up eating the planet because Mr. Fantastic was depressed that the Invisible Woman ran off with Namor, or Captain America slips on a banana peel and so the Red Skull gets control of the Cosmic Cube and turns everyone into Nazis. So, this story is actually fairly optimistic by What If...? standards.

Anyway, the twist here is that instead of Peter Parker, a radioactive spider bites Flash Thompson, who uses the powers he receives to steal diamond shipments, throw masonry at cars, and generally continue to bully Parker. Which is weird, because in the Marvel Universe proper, Flash is the president of the Spider-Man fan club (that he created) and worships Spidey for being such a hero. So maybe the twist in this reality is actually that Flash is an incredible asshole.

Peter helps Flash, hoping he'll start to use his powers for good, but worries about Flash continuing to be a bully causes Peter first to lay down ("Probably has something important on his mind...like girls," says Uncle Ben), and then to create a battle suit that can stop Thompson's rampage of tomfoolery.

Peter confronts Flash in the offices of the Daily Bugle, where Thompson is attacking J. Jonah Jameson, and makes a wall-demolishing entrance:

And he calls himself Spider-Man, but here's the thing: he's got two arms, two legs, and six mechanical limbs. That's ten limbs, Parker. Nobody says anything, though, because of the dangerous-looking six mechanical limbs that nerd is packing. Also, another twist in this reality is that arachnids have ten legs.

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